this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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