You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Randomize
