So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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