the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
not ubering you a puppy
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
