Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
