i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
It was confusing and full of hummus
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
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