idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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