I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
