you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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