i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
