i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
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