He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
