How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Randomize
