the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
