Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
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