ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
