Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
