Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
