I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
