She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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