I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Randomize