p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
i love accidental penises.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
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