butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Randomize
