Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Randomize