Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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