I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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