There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
