I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
