9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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