called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Randomize
