rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Randomize
