I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
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