what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
