ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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