on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
