dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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