So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
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