Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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