Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
