cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
