Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Randomize