You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
The Olympian is in my bed
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
