Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
