Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Floor bacon is actually really good
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
