I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
40s are totally the cure
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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