He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
