I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
