Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
