god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
