I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Randomize
