Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
