If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Just invented taco cereal.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
