All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
17 year olds will be the death of me.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
