I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
