dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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